August 4, 2003

Just for kicks
What happens when a desk jockey plays Gramatica? The feel-good story of '03 dissolves into one big pain in the ... leg
By Benson Taylor

Quick, pick the best position to play in football. Quarterback? Too much thinking to do in 312 seconds or less, and too many concussions. Receiver? Maybe, just don't ask me to go over the middle.

No, the best job belongs to the kickers. How hard can it be to trot on the field a few times a game, kick a ball and pick up a six-figure paycheck?

So when I hear former pro Louie Aguiar is holding a kicking camp near my home in St. Louis, I decide to put my leg to the test. I don't have any delusions of drilling 55-yarders, but having played plenty of soccer in high school, I figure I can hold my own after a few pointers. Of course, my wife thinks I'll be so impressive that NFL teams will be begging me to sign. I'll be the feel-good story of the 2003 season — editor-turned-kicker gets long-term (and high-dollar) deal with the Rams!

Alas, there are no pro scouts at Aguiar Kicking Academy. I figure as much as I pull up to small-town Waterloo (Ill.) High School, where Aguiar is an assistant coach. The camp consists of eight kickers, a couple of punters and a couple of long snappers. Yours truly is the only one who's old enough to take Aguiar out for a beer.

I quickly realize this is going to be much harder than I thought. Fifteen minutes into the camp, I can't even figure out how to position my legs to do one of the stretching exercises. "Benson, your other right foot," Aguiar tells me.

Aguiar punted in the NFL from 1991-2000, spending about half his career with the Chiefs, and also was a kickoff specialist. He's hoping for one last shot in the pros but in the meantime has started kicking, punting and long-snapping camps in the St. Louis and Kansas City areas.

Aguiar admits that at least in some aspects, kickers and punters have it easy — he's quick to joke about playing dominoes with the kickers during practice while members of the offense and defense were in film sessions. But ask him if kickers should be considered real football players, and his tone gets more serious.

"Punters and place-kickers have more pressure than anybody because that might be our last play of the game," Aguiar says. "We're not going to get another chance. An offensive linemen may screw up one time, but he still has another 60 plays to make up for that play. Our one play could cost us the game, and everybody sees it."

Aguiar offers to teach me punting and long snapping, but I want to focus on kicking. That's where the glory is. Make the big kick (and how hard can it be?) and you'll be on all the highlight shows.

We spend plenty of time on the technicalities of the trade: Mark off the approach (three steps back and two steps over). On the snap, make sure the first step is upfield, not toward the ball. Land the plant foot 8 to 10 inches from the ball, ankle even with the ball. Open the kicking foot sideways, and lock the knee just before striking the ball. Bring the opposite arm across the kicking leg on the follow-through, so the hips don't turn. An hour and a half goes by before we even see a ball, and my leg already is sore from the repetition of the drills.

Aguiar uses an advanced coaching tool called "vCoach," which is essentially a laptop with a video camera that provides frame-by-frame analysis. When he kneels 5 yards in front of me to record my kick, the pressure's on — not to make the field goal but to make sure I don't drill Aguiar in the head, or worse, hit his $5,000 computer. I come through in the clutch, splitting the uprights from 30 yards out. Wanting to act cool in front of the boys, I remain emotionless. Inside, I'm doing a Gramatica.

We kick for two full days. We kick with snappers. We kick with just the holders. We kick onside kicks. We kick off. We kick from inside the end zone, in order to get the ball up quickly over the crossbar. Finally, at the end of camp, it's time to separate the men from the boys with a long-distance contest. Of course, by this time my right leg is so tired I'd be happy to settle for a PAT.

The long kick among the high school kickers is a 40-yarder, but Aguiar shows them up and easily hits a 45-yarder. As for me, well, at least I don't completely embarrass myself. I hit from 30 — though I'm sure I would have made a 35- or 40-yarder had my leg been fresh. I'm happy just to find out part of Aguiar's camp includes instructions on how to ice down a leg.

Sorry, hon, but looks like the only time I'll be talking to the Rams any time soon is with a press pass.

Benson Taylor is a managing editor for Sporting News. Email him at btaylor@sportingnews.com.